Rambling on

2011 Reflections

2011-12-30T10:43:00.002-07:00

Today I am enjoying the quiet of the house before the family wakes up. The weather is very nice for December and the dog is outside so I get time to myself. I have been reflecting on the past year. It has been a rough one but a good one as well.

There were many changes in my family. My oldest stepson moved in with us to go to school, my stepdaughter got married to a wonderful man, it was decided that my children needed more stability and they no longer live with me and my husband and I came through the worst year of our marriage. Through all of this I felt my faith waiver to dangerously low levels. I have never felt more alone in my life.

However, something happened that is going to be a wonderful change. My husband and I survived and we are strong again as a couple. After talking to my oldest stepchildren and my children, I decided to take on a project. I want a loving home full of laughter and one that the children want to bring their families to. I want one filled with peace and happiness. I talked to every one and we are all on board. So for the next year, we will turn our house into a home. I will track our progress in my blog. Step 1 has been to ask everyone what makes the holidays special to them and what will help make our home comfortable to them. I will start January 1 with the cleaning and decluttering part and family meetings will be held to put together a plan. I am very excited about this and it helps to know that my husband is on board too.

Not all of 2011 was bad. On December 12, I graduated from Front Range Community College. I earned my Associate of Arts Degree in Elementary Education and graduated with honors. A lot of very hard work went into school so I am thrilled to see the results. I transfer to Metropolitan State College of Denver in January where I will finish my Bachelor of Art degree and become a teacher.

So good bye 2011! Welcome 2012!

Plain and Precious Things

2011-07-28T14:20:00.002-06:00

I recently read in Nephi the vision he saw regarding the tree of life. I have always loved this section of First Nephi and pondered on it for awhile. The angel tells Nephi of a book that comes forth to the Gentiles but many of the plain and precious parts have been taken out.

We understand this book to be the Bible. Over time and through many translations, there have been things removed. I have often wondered what those plain and precious things were. It hit me Sunday. There are small things that we have like the sacrament prayers. If Christ restored his church in these days through the Prophet Joseph Smith, then the prayers said today would have been the prayers said in Christ's time. Restoration means to bring back. Not to create new.

How fortunate we are to be living in this time. We have been told that we have the fullness of the gospel. Through revelation and the bringing forth of the Book of Mormon, we have many of those plain and precious things. I like the feeling of connection through the thousands of years. This is a small testament to me that God really is the same yesterday, today and forever.

irritated

2011-07-19T14:34:00.002-06:00

We interrupt the following blog to bring you some whining.

I am so irritated today. So here is my whine and vent and then I will get on with my normally cheerful self.

I went out of town for the weekend and came home to a clean house. However, this morning I woke up to dirty dishes on the counter ( the dishwasher has a very few dirty dishes in it) and veggies in the sink from my DH. My sink was bright and shiny when I went to bed and it was supposed to make me smile when I got up. Nope. Not today. GRRRRR!!!!

The dog was very barky today and her voice just got on my nerves! I really have no idea what her problem was. Not to mention she woke me up an hour earlier than usual so I am short sleep.

I went to go ride my bike for my morning bike ride and my tires needed air. So I had to fight the dog who kept trying to get between me and the tire all while trying to pump up the tires.

My youngest stepson has this nasty habit of scratching mosquito bites until they bleed. He then proceeds to get blood on the couch. I have tried and tried to get it off, no luck. So I put a sheet down to protect the couch. Get up today and there is blood on the couch again. We are getting a different couch this weekend, a much nicer couch, but I am not sure I want it if he is going to keep doing this. So I made him clean it up and lectured him on stopping and warned him that it was a lot harder to get off the couch than a sheet and if he did it again, he would have to clean the couch.

My DH promised to make dinner today for the boys so I didn't plan on making anything. I only pulled out 1 pound of hamburger so he could make spaghetti. Well he got up late and didn't have time to make it but insists on making spaghetti himself so I'm told to make something else. I decided to make sloppy joes but 1 pound won't feed all of us. So I'm stuck with a sandwich for dinner since I have to work and as it was pointed out, we have to have food available for both boys because it is "my responsibility to provide for my kids" even though the oldest refuses to eat at home any more. Of course this didn't go over very well when it was pointed out and I mentioned that I wasn't cooking for him any more.

And the final whine? I have a nasty cough again. I'm tired of this! It hurts my chest and throat and keeps me up all night. I sound horrible but feel fine! It never fails. Every time I go out of town, I get this nasty stuff that sticks around for weeks on end.

We now return you to a more cheerful blog.

Peace and quiet

2011-06-30T09:51:00.002-06:00

I put myself on a new schedule this week and I like it! My old schedule would be to stay up until 1 or 2 in the morning, get up at 8 to feed the dogs and go back to bed until noon. I wasn't feeling rested and the dogs hated being cooped up in the kennel in the yard so they would bark and bark. I felt drained and the grumpiness was settling in. It was time to make a change. Not to mention, my husband really didn't like getting woken up every time I got in and out of bed.

Enter the new schedule! I'm going to bed by 11 and waking up at 8 and staying up. I feed the dog (my stepson takes care of his own dog now) go for a 30 minute bike ride, eat breakfast and have a few hours of peace and quiet. no one else is up until around 11. It's great! I have time to study for the Praxis II test I have to take this fall, work on my counted cross stitch and even blog if I feel like it. Since I am up, the dogs aren't cooped up in a kennel and they don't bark. It works for everyone. I am not tired and the grumpies have left. My husband is not getting woken up. There is a feeling of peace in my life!

image from yahoo images

Biking

2011-06-28T09:44:00.002-06:00

I fixed up my bike this weekend and took it out for a spin this morning. I had forgotten how much fun it was to ride a bike around! I only went about a mile around the neighborhood but that was good for my first time out in a very long time. I will go out again tomorrow.

image used from Yahoo images

Ramblings

2011-06-24T16:05:00.003-06:00

I found it! My glimmer of hope. Just a small little hope that has made me feel less empty. This week was horrible. I lost one of those things I held so dear to me and it was a shock. It took me a couple of days to finally face what had happened but the hope came from a very unexpected place. I was introduced to a wonderful person who has agreed to help me deal with the challenges I have been facing.
I know this is a very vague post but I am public and really don't want to go into details. However, for those that know me, I am still married :) This challenge involves other members of my family.

While all this was going on, my mom announced that she was moving back home. Back home is out of state 8oo some miles away. I will miss her terribly but I know she needs to do this. So while I still have her around, I plan to spend as much time as possible with her and enjoy her company.

Lemonade

2011-06-20T18:05:00.002-06:00

Lemonade is my favorite drink in the summer time. I love raspberry lemonade but yellow or pink lemonade is good too. There is something very satisfying, laying in a hammock with a great book and a tall, cold glass of lemonade.

Dirt, Dust and Cobwebs

2011-06-10T14:33:00.002-06:00

I got excited today over dirt, dust and cobwebs. I know, what a strange thing to be excited about. I'm excited about it because large amounts of these items are no longer in my home! I have been very diligently working on cleaning my home. While I still have a long way to go, I am happy to report that my kitchen is almost clean from top to bottom. I will be done by tomorrow. It's amazing how fresh and bright it is starting to look. I am tired after a day of heavy duty cleaning but it is a wonderful feeling to see all the progress.

Faith Hope and Charity

2011-06-07T15:13:00.002-06:00

Many years ago, I made a decision that would affect my life forever. It was a very difficult decision. It would not only affect my life but the lives of others. I made the decision after much prayer and fasting. I had great hopes that this decision would give me what I desired most. I had faith that my desires were righteous and all would turn out well.

Recently however, because of the choices of others, I slowly saw my hopes and dreams chipped away until I was left standing with nothing. It is a very empty feeling. Not only was I left standing feeling very empty, I was in danger of losing everything I hold dear to me. I feel like a part of me died.

This is where I was this morning. I couldn't sleep last night and had spent time needing comfort and reassurance that all would indeed be well. After all, I prayed earnestly to make the right decision in the fist place. Silent prayers and many tears later, morning came. My husband and I had made the decision to read scriptures together daily but as of yet, had not done it. I knew I needed to start this very morning. So I approached him and he agreed, telling me to read whatever I wanted. My thoughts led me to read Moroni 7:40-48.

In this chapter, Mormon is speaking to the church about faith, hope and charity. Verses 40-42 leaped off the page and as I read them, I felt the calm reassurance that all would indeed be well. Here was the answer I was looking for. I can hope again for those things I had hoped for before. While the pain is still not gone, and the emptiness still there, I feel better. I know that my Heavenly Father is mindful of me and knows my hopes and dreams. He is there to offer reassurance and to bring calm and peace.

Summer Reading

2011-06-06T14:05:00.002-06:00

I love reading blogs where people write about books they have read and enjoyed. My problem is, I forget to write down the title and author so when I go to the library, my mind goes blank. This was the case last Friday. I found myself staring blankly at a row of books with no idea which one to read. So I gave myself a challenge. I was going pick a book based solely on the title. I couldn't read the back or anything until I got home. The book I chose was A Year on Ladybug Farm by Donna Ball. I loved it! It was funny, cute and very enjoyable. It was the perfect book for light summer reading with a glass of ice cold lemonade. I won't say anything about what it is about in case there are other curios readers. I will say though, I'll be returning it today to the library if anyone wants it. Happy reading!

Gardening

2011-05-28T11:52:00.002-06:00

I had big plans for a garden this year. I was going to plant all kinds of vegetables and we could have fresh salads all summer. Well you know what they say about the best laid plans of mice and men? The garden didn't happen. I got the plot dug up and ready to turn into my garden when my hubby had other plans. It is now our family fire pit area. Can't complain about that :) We had good times last year cooking outside and roasting marshmallows. Besides, with two dogs, it would be hard to keep them out of the garden until we get a fence up.

My husband promised to get one up for next summer. My garden this year consists of the topsy turvy tomato planter. I can hang it so the dogs will leave it alone and I love tomatoes so it's worth a shot! I planted them yesterday and they survived the night. I'm curious to see if it really will produce nice big tomatoes.

Spring Cleaning update

2011-05-27T13:13:00.002-06:00

This week did not go as well as planned. The area of my house was the master bedroom. I knew this one was going to be a challenge since my husband sleeps during the day. I had my children and this was their last week of school so I spent most of the week at my sister's and when I was home, I didn't want to spend the time cleaning. So today and tomorrow I will do what I can! My goals are to get my side of the bed area cleared and dusted and my half under the bed clean. I need to clear my stuff off the dresser and get rid of stuff I don't wear out of the closet and drawers. Then I need to dust what I can and I will be satisfied. If I don't get it all done this week, there is always next month!

Summer at last!

2011-05-26T09:28:00.002-06:00

Today is the last day of school for my children. Yay! Summer can begin at last! We celebrated this morning by stopping for donuts and this afternoon will be spent at my sister's for some good old family time with cousins.

I'm looking forward to this summer! I get a much needed break and the kids and I have some fun activities planned. I might even get pictures taken! (I'm horrible about remembering to take a camera for pictures.) So let the fun begin!

Grey and Gloomy Day

2011-05-24T13:17:00.002-06:00

It is a grey and gloomy day. The rain is still falling and everything is soggy. The dogs have cabin fever and want to go outside but due to massive amounts of mud, they have to stay inside. Nothing like being cooped up in the house with two puppies that have lots of energy. Oh did I mention? One of those puppies is a 70lb Lab. SO what's a person to do? My mood is fast heading to the gloomy side as well. Time to head back to bed :) Wake me when the sun is shining again!

Adventures in Spring Cleaning

2011-05-19T16:51:00.003-06:00

Spring cleaning has begun in my house. This year I am determined to take my time and not stress about it. Baby steps! I've broken down my list of things to do into manageable steps. I am limited on when I can clean because my husband sleeps during the and I work at night. I'll do more on my days off. So here I go! This week the focus is on my bathroom and the children's rooms. I am happy to report that all is moving along well. I need to have the children help me go through their clothes and other items so we can get rid of stuff but all the trash is cleared and carpet has been found in both rooms. Now to wash bathroom rugs and curtains!

I can feel it

2011-02-22T14:53:00.001-07:00

Can you feel it? I can! There is a hint of Spring in the air! Hurry spring! Get here soon! I can't wait to see you!

Healthy Puppy

2011-01-14T17:06:00.002-07:00

We took Labby to the vet today. She is 12 weeks old and needs her booster shot. I am happy to report that we have a healthy puppy! She weighs 27 pounds and according to the vet she is in excellent health. She did very well with her shot and got a chew treat for a reward.

She has adjusted well to our family and I think we have adjusted to having her around.

Changes

2011-01-08T19:47:00.002-07:00

I've been feeling restless lately. I needed some changes. I have been using the fact that my husband works night and sleeps during the day as an excuse to do nothing. After all, I have to be quiet so he can sleep. This brought on a form of the blues. Not depression, but defiantly left me feeling blahish. Not to mention frumpy. So I decided to make some changes.

My stepdaughter gave me a girls day out for my birthday. I could choose what I wanted to do but it had to be for me with the idea of doing something nice for myself. I chose lunch and a haircut. So she went all all. Made an appointment for me at a very nice salon and took me out to Panera Bread for lunch.

I did it folks! I made drastic changes. I cut 12 inches off my hair. We measured it. 12 long inches. Of course I donated it to Locks of Love but for the first time in a long time, I felt free! Yes, it's shorter but it still sits shoulder length. (yes, my husband freaked a little when he saw it but he loves the result) The stylist took the time to teach me how to style it different ways and how to make it look good. I love it!

Next I started creating simple routines for myself and found a great website that teaches you how to improve your overall well being. I love it. I am learning better ways to exercise and eat healthy. I put on makeup now, do my hair and get out and move daily. I am starting to see results. I feel better and the blahs are gone. I feel happier and I'm not sitting around doing nothing while my husband sleeps. So here's to 2011. A better year!

Family game night

2011-01-04T09:09:00.002-07:00

I have two stepsons who do not like to play board games. However, my two children and I love to play them. Sorry is our current favorite. So when my son received Sorry Sliders for Christmas, we couldn't wait to have a game night. Armed with pizza and rootbeer floats, we began to set up the game. Curiosity hit the youngest stepson and he decided he wanted to play too. So we began. It was fun! Halfway through the second game, my older stepson emerged from his room to see what all the laughter was about and after watching for a moment, sat down and joined the fun. Video games were forgotten and the family was gathered around the table laughing and having fun. Success!

There is something magic in opening a board game, mixing in pizza and rootbeer floats and throwing in a heaping amount of laughter. I think I will try it again tonight :)

Winter Break

2010-12-28T11:18:00.002-07:00

Well Christmas is finally over. I did have a good one this year but now I get to relax and enjoy my break between semesters. My goals for the next few weeks are to organize my kitchen, get a schedule down for when I return to school, and work some more on training the puppy. She is doing good considering we have only had her for a couple of weeks.

Sickness hit our family this year over Christmas so I was not able to do all I wanted to do but we still had a good time.

The new year is approaching and I am looking forward to this one. It promises to be a good one for our family. I don't like to make resolutions but I have set some goals for myself.

1. attend the temple once a month. This one has been very difficult for me with my schedule but I know if I really try hard to schedule it, I will have the time to go.

2. get more organized. I would like my house to become a home and a house of order.

3. Spend more time on scripture study daily.

I hope everyone has a wonderful new year!

Getting ready for Christmas

2010-12-14T11:08:00.002-07:00

Now that school is out for the semester, I can focus on Christmas fun with my family. This year I want to bake cookies, make popcorn balls and Christmas wreaths from corn flakes. We also have a tradition of making Christmas mice. The kids love when we make the mice and they are fun to eat :)

Our house is all decorated and I have my Christmas candles out. My Christmas shopping is almost done and I'll be sending cards out soon. So Merry Christmas everyone!

A new member of the family!

2010-12-09T23:01:00.003-07:00

We have a new member of the family! This is Labby. She is a yellow lab and is 7 weeks old. She is my Christmas present to my husband. He has wanted a yellow lab for a long time and Labby came at the right time. So now we have a puppy running around.

We brought her home Friday and she is starting to adjust to us and her new home. My husband is thrilled about her and is showing off his new baby :) What fun!

October

2010-09-29T23:53:00.002-06:00

October is fast approaching. My how fast this year has flown by! I have a tradition that started in 1994. Every October 1, I decorate for Halloween. I look forward to this every year! I don't go overboard and my decorations must be cute not scary and hideous. I will be pulling the box out of the shed and having fun. Let the start of the holiday season begin! ( Now if someone could please remind the place of my employment that Halloween is in October and Christmas is in December, that would be great!)

2010-09-27T11:33:00.005-06:00

This weekend was the first weekend that I seriously questioned my decision to return to school full time. Sure every semester has been a challenge and I have had days when I dropped from exhaustion but I have never questioned whether or not I should be doing it until this weekend.

Chaos has entered my life. My car has died twice on me in a week (it was supposedly fixed after the first time), I used the last of my savings to pay for it now I have to figure out what is wrong and if it is the problem they supposedly fixed, have to get them to either fix it, or give me a refund. My marriage is struggling right now. I am never home any more and have very little time for my husband. I work approximately 22 hours a week and am in school 4 days a week, two of those days I'm gone until 10pm. I rarely get any time with my children since I am working or in school when I have them and I haven't had a day off in over 3 weeks. I'm tired! My home is being neglected and contention is starting to creep in.

I don't write this to gain sympathy. I agree with my husband when he commented that we are being tested. I worry though. I still have 3 years left of school. I really am worried that this will take a very bad toll on my marriage and relationship with my children. So I sit here and wonder if I am making the right choice. I want to stay in school. I am getting closer to reaching my goal. Somehow just sitting here writing it all down helps.

Here is what I know. I prayed about my decision to go back to school. I feel good about the decision. I still feel that continuing is the answer. Now I just need to have faith that all will work out. Knowing this doesn't help the worry though. I am going to continue and finish what I started.

Talking to teenagers

2010-09-21T15:28:00.002-06:00

Talking to teenagers is amusing. If it is a topic they are interested in, say for example, ways to spend THEIR money, you have their full attention and they carry on a great conversation.

However, if it is a topic they don't want to hear, for example, why they need to clean their room, do their homework or not drink so much pop, the conversation becomes amusing. You talk, the words go in one ear, swirl around without ever making contact with a single brain cell, and leave out the other ear. I should invent a product that causes important conversations to stick.

Wedding rings

2010-09-20T16:13:00.003-06:00

My stepdaughter and I discussed today the importance of wedding rings. She had heard on the radio a discussion where callers could call in and voice their views about whether or not wearing a wedding ring was important. It was amazing some of the responses. Wedding rings are not as important it seems to people today. Mine is very important to me. I wear it as a symbol of the vows I made to my husband when we got married. I take those vows very seriously. In fact, I only take my ring off to clean it or put lotion on. Then it goes immediately back on my finger.

My husband however, cannot wear his all the time. He works at a job where it is very dangerous to wear his ring. He could lose a finger. So he does not wear it when he works. I know that he takes his vows seriously and do not take it as a sign that he does not want to be married just because he doesn't wear his ring.

It makes me sad thought to hear comments from men that wedding rings don't mean anything when they are looking for a date. They take it as a challenge. Or women who say that they don't want to wear their ring because they don't want anyone to know they are married. How much better would our world be today if marriage was important adn wedding rings meant something special?

Procrastination

2010-09-13T22:57:00.002-06:00

Ahhhh. Procrastination. I am a pro at procrastinating. SO here I am, procrastinating of course, instead of getting my public speaking homework done. Why? Because I can I guess. No, the real reason is massive brain block. The assignment is to create an introduction and conclusion for a speech without the middle part of the speech. Sounds easy enough but WAIT! the introduction must be credible, interesting, and have a great attention getter. So what to talk about that is credible, interesting, and a great attention getter? I have no idea. I am at a complete loss. Wait! I can talk about procrastinating! Ok. Now to get the attention of an audience.

2010-09-01T23:15:00.002-06:00

Fall is starting to creep in. I was leaving for school today and it was cold this morning! I had to turn the heater on in my car for a few minutes to warm up. Later on in the day though it was sunny and warm. Perfect flip flop weather (which is what I happened to be wearing). I love this time of year! I love the crispness of the air, the crunch of apples, an excuse to burn a cinnamon or pumpkin spice candle, the cool nights and hot days and the perfect temperatures. I love that you need a heater in the morning but can pull off carpi's and flip flops in the afternoon.

Vacation at last!

2010-08-05T16:17:00.002-06:00

We just returned from a week long trip to visit my husband's family. It was a great time! Five of the children went with us and we were ready for a fun filled week.

The beach was a must so we spent a great day there swimming in the ocean and playing in the sand. We also went sightseeing and spent time with family. We took a boat ride in the ocean and went swimming after dark. It only rained the first day we were there and the rest of the time was hot with humidity. Great excuse to wear flip flops!

Now we are home and ready to face real life. School starts soon and life is about to become busy again. I'm glad we took this time to relax and have fun. It will be a great memory to look back on when I need a quiet moment.

Best friends

2010-07-22T20:23:00.003-06:00

They say that childhood friends do not usually stay friends through adulthood. People change as they get older and they find different friends that share their interests. I have a rare friendship. My best girlfriend and I have been best friends since we were seven. I still remember the Sunday we met. My family and I had just moved into the ward and I was a quiet, shy seven year old. It was March, 1983 and already I had move twice in three months. So walking into my CTR A class was not something I was looking forward to. But there she was, large smile on her face and her hand very enthusiastically patting the chair next to her. So I sat down and an instant friendship was created. We were best friends from that moment on.

She has been there for me through some of the very best and worst times of my life. I know that no matter what, I can count on her for encouragement and a listening ear. She has never judged me but has loved me like a sister and I love her back. She moved out of state to attend college, got married and still lives out of state but we are as close as ever. So I was thrilled today to learn that she was in town visiting her family.

My schedule was open so I spent four wonderful hours with her. Our children played together and we caught up and shared memories. Both of our lives are very busy but for an afternoon, it was nice to put that aside and just share each others company. I miss her but am thankful for all the time we do have.

Adventures in canning

2010-07-21T21:29:00.005-06:00

I love to can. My grandmother canned, my mother canned and I took on the tradition. However, in today's world canning is not cost efficient. In fact, it is very expensive. I have a nice supply of jars and lids though as well as all the accessories needed to be a proficient canner so I was thrilled when my husband showed up from work one night with a very large grocery sack full of fresh beans. YAY! An excuse to can!

My mom and I share a pressure canner and since beans are low acid food, you need to can them in a pressure canner to maintain food safety. Mom came over tonight and we set to work. I only had enough lids to do 11 jars so we decided to use quart sizes so I could can more beans. We were able to get 4 jars full and were all set to start the canner. I get nervous using the pressure canner since it requires 13 pounds of pressure to build and there is always the risk of explosions.

We got the water boiling, the lid sealed and sat down to watch the pressure build. After about 20 minutes though, we realized something was not working. We never could get more than 2 pounds of pressure. Not a good sign. To ensure that all the bacteria and bad stuff is killed, you need to maintain 13 pounds of pressure for 25 mins. Since we never even hit that, we had to call it quits. Turns out the seal on the lid was old and did not seal properly. So now I have 4 quarts of beautiful beans that need to be eaten soon. I can store them in the refrigerator but I need to eat them in a few days. So we will be having beans for dinner all week :) So much for having fresh green beans this winter!

While I don't have jars to store, I did get quality time with my mom and I wouldn't trade that! Good thing we can get another seal so next time my husband brings home beans, I will be ready.

Fun with my daughter

2010-07-07T17:11:00.002-06:00

My daughter has entered the next stage in life. My how time flies! I knew this day was coming but it is always a little bittersweet when she reaches a new stage. So to celebrate, I spent the day with her. The object of today was to have fun, just the two of us, without spending any money except for the gas it took to get us places. So we headed out to the mall. What fun! We got makeup done at Macy's, sampled scents and lotions at Bath and Body Works, my daughter had her hair curled by one of the vendors who has a cart in the middle of the floor, and we got free samples in the food court. What fun! We tried free Wifi in the Apple Store and got to smell cinnamon rolls from Cinabon :) Then it was off to grandma's house for lunch.
I love that my daughter still loves hanging out with mom even though she is almost 14 and will start high school this fall. I love all the time I have with her. It's fun to see her get excited over girl things and talk about boys and all her friends. I miss my little girl but love my beautiful young woman.

Family Fun

2010-06-07T12:53:00.002-06:00

Saturday I had the day off work. Having weekends off is such a rare occasion that we decided to make the most of it. Since all the kids were home for the weekend, we decided to have a barbecue and play games. We declared Saturday an electronic free day and planned things to do as a family. Of course groceries had to be bought and errands had to be run. My husband surprised everyone by bringing home an inflatable swimming pool and we set it up. The fun began! By the time the pool was filled everyone had been sprayed at least once by the hose. I finally saw our two separate families become one and all the kids were acting just like siblings.

Then it came time to eat. We roasted corn and cooked brauts, we had watermelon, guacamole and green salad. Just as the brauts were almost done cooking, the skies opened up and we caught in a downpour. Everyone was laughing and scrambling about to get the food in the house. Of course by the time we got inside, it stopped raining. Laughing and wet, we ate in the house but went outside for desert. What a fun day! I love the memories we are making! I loved that we were a family and everyone forgot that so and so is just my step sibling.

Small Steps

2010-05-24T23:48:00.002-06:00

One of my favorite quotes is "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results." I have been thinking about this quote today. There have been many things weighing heavily on my mind and I was beginning to feel the weight of them.

Everyone has private struggles they face and as of late, I feel that I have been given a tremendous load. I realized today as I sat reflecting and pondering what to do that I needed to change what I was doing. I can't expect different results if I continue to do the same thing. That said, I feel like part of the weight is being lifted. So now comes the hard part. Baby steps.

So I want to take each day and make a small but positive change in my life. I realize that there are situations beyond my control. My choice is how I deal with them. So starting now, I choose to do something different. I choose to be positive. I will look at my life the way my sister does, as an adventure. One step at a time, I know I will find answers I am seeking as well as peace and comfort,

Big, White, Fluffiness

2010-04-29T09:49:00.002-06:00

The weather had taken a nasty turn this morning as I was driving my children to school. There was thick fog and snow. So I decided to spend my free time at the college instead of trying to drive to my sister's house like I normally do. As I was sitting and trying to concentrate on math, I happened to look out the window. It was beautiful! The snow had turned to the beautiful, big, fluffy flakes that I love. It looked like a snow globe! Now I normally do not want snow this late in April (especially after a 75 degree day) but this was beautiful. It didn't last long but I enjoyed watching it fall.

Happiness

2010-04-04T21:02:00.002-06:00

Happiness comes in many forms. Of course it changes over time, the things that made me happy as a child have changed and now different things bring me happiness. Of course the childhood favorite of a brand new box of 64 Crayola Crayons has remained but today I reflected on the things that make me happy.

Happiness is...

watching my children hunt for Easter eggs so well hidden it takes an hour to find 13.

knowing my husband hid those eggs for my children and was so much like a kid himself in the process.

realizing that my beautiful little girl is no longer my little girl, but my beautiful teenage daughter.

a houseful of people I love over for dinner.

holding hands with my husband as we walked through the store getting groceries.

making pancakes at 2 in the morning after grocery shopping.

the peace I have found over the last several months and knowing it is the real kind.

Why I want to be a teacher

2010-03-24T15:03:00.002-06:00

Why do I want to be a teacher? I had to answer this question in an essay earlier this semester for my Introduction to Education class. All kinds of things ran through my head. I want to make a difference in the lives of children but I think it goes beyond that. I have had the opportunity to observe a second grade class this semester and have had some eye opening insights.

Teachers do make differences in their students lives but politics sometimes get in the way of education. Teachers are limited by the decisions of those higher up the chain of command. I find this very sad. Teachers spend the majority of the day with their students and know the best ways to teach them. Sometimes curriculum is set and programs are implemented that do not help but hinder learning. Education is not well rounded. Students in some schools are not learning history, poetry, geography or even social studies. Too much emphasis is placed on standardized tests that students are being taught the test and nothing else. I believe that the class requires 3o hours of observation so that you can decide if teaching is really what you want to do. Teaching is not an easy job. While I have not completed my 30 hours yet, I have done enough to know that yes, I want to be a teacher.

I want to be a teacher so I can help bring changes to education. I want to be a voice that advocates more teacher creativity and less teaching standardized testing. I want to be a voice that brings back other subjects to students that give them more knowledge. I want to teach poetry, fables, folklore, history, geography, social studies and more.

Llama Appreciation Day

2010-03-19T12:00:00.002-06:00

My son is obsessed with llamas and the entire llama family. I am not really sure when this obsession started, I just know it happened when he was in 5th grade. Well now he is almost done with 6th grade and the obsession continues. So he put his creative mind to work and decided to start a holiday. Llama Appreciation Day. It happens to be on March 22 so we are getting ready to celebrate the first ever Llama Appreciation Day. To get in the spirit of things, we created a page on Facebook and to count down the days, he is posting fun facts about llamas. So join the celebration and honor your local llamas on March 22!

AHHH Fresh Air

2010-03-17T15:06:00.003-06:00

Today I got to open my windows and let all the fresh air in. What a great feeling! Now my house has that fresh air feeling. I love this time of year! Welcome back Spring! I missed you!

Three years ago today

2010-02-24T13:59:00.002-07:00

Three years ago today I married my best friend. I am so thankful for him! Our life has been full of challenges and fun times. I can say that I love him more today than I did three years ago. I look forward to many more years with him.

"I would appreciate it if....."

2009-12-11T15:15:00.002-07:00

Sometimes being a parent makes me want to pull my hair out and scream in frustration. How hard is it really to clean up after yourself? My kids are all old enough to be able to do this. So of course I resorted to the following methods. Telling them, asking them, begging, yelling, the usual techniques. I even went so far as to take things away from them if they left it out. That didn't work either. So one day I tried a new method and I am happy to report that it is working! I spent the morning really cleaning up the house. I scrubbed the kitchen, made sure everything was picked up, unloaded the dishwasher, vacuumed, the whole nine yards. When the kids came home from school, I had to go to work so I simply said, "I would really appreciate it if the kitchen was this clean when I come home from work. Thanks!" It worked! The kitchen was spotless and has remained clean since! Sure we use dishes and make messes but all I have to say is " I would appreciate it if....." It's like magic. Now they pick up after themselves and I'm not the mean person trying and begging and yelling.

Amazing what can get done!

2009-12-07T11:39:00.002-07:00

Ever since my husband moved to the day shift, life has gotten easier! Before a typical day was spent either staying up very late so I woke up with him, or being super quiet during the day so he could sleep. This accounted for getting very little acomplished in a day since housework is usually noisy. Well, that has all changed! I now get up around 6:30 and get so much done! I even have time to do things I want to like counted cross stitch or even watch a little tv. My home is getting more organized and staying cleaner and my homework is getting done in the quiet of the house before kids get home from school. What a lovely feeling! The best part of all? I have a husband I actually get to see and is home for dinner every night.

Finally! Pants that fit!

2009-12-02T11:25:00.004-07:00

I hate shopping for clothes for many reasons but one of the biggest reasons is because I can never find pants that are long enough and fit around the waist! I am 5'11" and most of my height is in my legs. This makes it very hard to find long pants. Yes, I know they make tall sizes but I am also a size 8 and for some unknown reason, size 8's can't be tall. Even the tall size 8's are too short. I hate walking around wearing pants that are too short so I usually go up a size and wear a belt. Well, today, that all changes. I found them! The perfect pants! Not only are they size 8, they are also long enough! Hooray for pants that fit! They are even cute! Can't wait to wear them!

Looking Back

2009-09-02T11:59:00.002-06:00

Looking back over the last week, I am feeling like I finally have my routines down. Starting school again threw another log in my fire but I was able to test my schedule and for the most part, I think this will work! I have time to work both jobs and still get my homework done. I have already gotten grades back from every class except Math and I am doing well! Some days I feel frazzled and over stretched but that will change as I go along. I find that if I go workout three days a week, I keep my body healthy and my mind is clearer and I am able to recall information I have read. Now if I can only find a way to get to bed on time, I will be set.

Thank you moms!

2009-08-28T06:10:00.001-06:00

Thank you to the moms who responded to my previous post:) I have enough information to complete the assignment!

Calling all moms!!

2009-08-25T22:07:00.003-06:00

Calling all moms with children elementary age and younger! I am taking Children's Literature this semester and for my first assignment I have to interview a few adults and a few children about what their favorite children's books were when they were young or now if they are young. Well, I got all the adult interviews done. So would anyone be interested in asking their children what their favorite children's books are and responding back to me? Thanks! No names will be used. I just need to write a couple paragraphs comparing and contrasting the two age groups. This is due by Saturday. Thanks Moms!

Adventures in bus driving

2009-08-20T16:31:00.003-06:00

Wednesday was my first official day as a bus driver. I arrived at my bus early, pretripped and waited. Then it was time to go line up and pick up the students. So far so good! I remembered everything I needed to and got to where I needed to on time. Then I saw them. Students crowding every where to get to the bus. We pulled up and on they got. 65 in all for my first run. I was scared to death! So we pulled out and sure enough, I nicked the curb and of course the students all had to let me know. Yes, I was sweating the whole way to the high school. It's one thing to drive a bus empty but fill it with students and you have a whole new ball game. Finally I made it to the school. Dropped them off and went home. I was safe! The afternoon route went much better. I only had 38 students and they were mellow. No curb checks!

Today was much, much better! I knew what to expect and felt much more at ease. This is easy! I can do this! Of course there are obstacles like road closures that were open in the morning but all in all, I think I am going to like driving the school bus.

School

2009-08-17T22:51:00.002-06:00

I love this time of year! I have gotten most of my books and all of my supplies and now comes the hardest part of all. The waiting. I don't go back to school for another week and the anticipation is getting to me! I am glad I have bus driving to look forward to. I am ready to start this semester and look forward to the challenge of juggling all my schedules but I know I can do this! I am ready! The end goal will be worth the journey to get there. So hurry up August 24!

For my friend

2009-08-05T12:13:00.002-06:00

Dear Friend,
I am updating my blog just for you! You know who you are:) I just wanted to take a moment and thank you for your friendship. It has come to mean a lot to me. I love the times we get to spend talking and love hearing about your life, children and other things going on. Thank you for letting me share my life with you too. Life has a funny way of throwing things at us but it is so comforting to know that you are there if I need a shoulder and an ear. Thank you so much for being you!

Love, Carol

New adventure

2009-07-30T15:14:00.002-06:00

I am embarking on a new adventure. I am now officially a school bus driver. Today I completed training and I will get a route and soon be on the road! I am very excited! I was nervous at first but under the care of a great trainer I have no problems now. So let the fun begin!

Happiness is .........

2009-07-13T15:13:00.003-06:00

........ knowing my husband loves me

......... Knowing I'm a daughter of God and He loves me.

........ hearing my children laugh

.......... Freshly washed sheets and pillow cases

......... nachos and a Slurpee from 7-11

....... a cat curled up on my lap purring

......... splashing in puddles after a rain storm

.......... talking on the phone to my best friend

.......... homemade cookies fresh out of the oven

........ flowers and trees in Spring!

......... listening to Christmas music year round

.......... the scent of candles burning in my home:)

............ popcorn and a good book or movie

That's just to name a few!

Family Fun

2009-07-07T22:27:00.002-06:00

I love getting together with my family. We try and do it often since most of us live in the area. Well tonight my aunt, uncle, and cousins came to visit their son(also my cousin) who also lives in the area. So it was the perfect excuse to have a bbq. It was so much fun! We ate until we were stuffed and then ate some more! We had three generations of family present and it was nice to see bonds renewed. With all the changes that have been going on, it was nice to still have family.

Random Facts About Me:)

2009-06-09T23:42:00.002-06:00

Here are some random facts about me. I decided to post this so people can get to know me a little better:)

1. I love the sound and smell of rain
2. I have a tattoo
3. My taste in music is very varied. I like most anything except for hard rock and rap.
4.I love raspberry lemonade
5. I don't like to cook but I love to bake
6. My favorite cake is angel food cake
7.I love peas fresh out of a garden
8. I like vampires
9. I rarely change the radio sation in my car
10. I love to listen to Christmas music year round.

Life and Lemons

2009-06-01T12:11:00.002-06:00

There is a saying that when life hands you lemons you should make lemonade. What happens when you run out of sugar? I'm feeling very unsure about the future today. This week was full of very depressing news and now I feel very alone. My husband is struggling very badly and right now he is dealing with it alone. So that leaves me feeling alone. We were in the process of starting some things over fresh in our lives but I guess that is not what needed to happen. We backed out of the contract on the house we were going to buy because of many reasons. I'm disappointed. I am still looking for work. Every job I apply for results in nothing. Either no interview or I interview and end up not being hired. I am not trying to complain. I know that gets you no where but I am tired of feeling alone and tired of all this stuff happening to us. I need a break. I need something good to happen.

Girl's Night Out

2009-05-20T22:34:00.002-06:00

Today I had a girl's night out with my mom, my two sisters, and one of my sister in laws(the other sister in law lives out of state). We had such a good time! My sister in law and my brother are moving to Texas next week so we had to get together one last time with all of us. I will miss her but I am glad my brother found a good job. Us girls started our tradition of girls night out two years ago and I love it. It has really strengthened the bond we already had. I look forward to the next time we can meet. I would love to make it a monthly get together instead of the sporadic times we meet now.

My grades!

2009-05-14T22:59:00.001-06:00

I finally got my grades for the semester and here they are!

English Composition II A

Child Development A

Introduction to Literature A

Psychology 101 B

Update

2009-05-11T21:11:00.002-06:00

I thought I would update on my progress this week. It never ceases to amaze me that the minute you decide to make a change, life throws everything it can at you. I have to admit this week was rough. I did pretty good though. I found myself feeling calmer than usual and all the anger causing things seemd to flow right off. I did take time to calm down before discussing things with my husband and even with the kids. I did not take the time to meditate as much as I wanted but I will continue to work on that. This week I will continue to work on being a calmer, less angry person. I am going to work harder on finding quiet time for myself and I am also going to work on letting things go. If it is not that important, I will let it go instead of bothering me. I still felt angry quite a few times this week but overall I made progress.

I Survived!

2009-05-07T22:49:00.003-06:00

I did it! I survived! School ended today and for the last fifteen weeks I have studied hard and I am pleased with how the semester went. I won't know my final grades yet, they won't be posted until the 14th, but I know that no matter what, I did my best. I'm off for the summer and turn into a student again in August.

Changes in my life

2009-05-04T23:04:00.002-06:00

I had a real eye opening experience this weekend. I realized that I really need to make some very serious changes in my life. I am not happy with me. I have become a very angry, stubborn and short tempered person. I don't admit this lightly because it is VERY hard for me to admit my faults. Unfortunately, my husband has gotten the brunt of my negativity. I can't even really say what has brought the worst of me out but the person I have been lately is not the person I want to be.
So I have decided that starting right now, I am going to take one thing about me that I want to improve and work on it. Then report my progress here.
This week, I am going to work on controlling my anger. Oh I know, easier said than done but here is my plan. I plan to take some time daily for quiet meditation. I need time to relax, put all the cares of the world behind me , and focus on being calm. If I feel myself getting angry, I give myself permission to leave the situation until I am calm. If I feel the need to yell, I will whisper. I will pray very hard for help because I know I can't do this alone. Thankfully, I have a husband who loves me and is patient with me but I do feel horrible he has had to deal with my lousy attitude lately.

"Come out and play!"

2009-04-17T00:26:00.003-06:00

I decided to put my adult self in timeout one day and let my inner child out to play. "Come out and play!" I called to her. Happily she came. It had been so long since the two of us played! We blew dandelion puffs without a care and watched the seeds dance on the breeze. We giggled and danced with them. Then we climbed trees and ran in the park. "Catch me if you can!" she called. Freedom was ours today. We explored mountains and became princesses of magical kingdoms. Oh the fun we had, my inner child and I! But time grew short and the shadows grew longer. Dinner was waiting and so were my family. My adult self had been in time out long enough. I said goodbye to my inner child and turned to enter the house. She stood and waved and called, "come out and play again!" I would I promised! She smiled and skipped away but I knew she would be back and we would play again.

Things I am thankful for

2009-02-10T23:53:00.003-07:00

I am thankful for many things but lately I have not taken the time to reflect on what I am truely thankful for.
1. I am thankful for my husband
2. I am thankful for my children
3. I am thankful for my relationship with God
4. I am thankful that I have good friends
5. I am thankful for the opportunity to go to school
6. I am thankful to have a warm home
7. I am thankful to have a running car
8. I am thankful for the freedoms I have
9. I am thankful to be alive
10. I am thankful for my health
I am thankful for many more things but only wanted to share a few today.

Pay it forward challenge

2009-02-03T22:26:00.001-07:00

Pay it Forward Challenge
I got this Pay it Forward challenge from Rosa. I thought it was such a great idea and am way excited about it.If you would like to join me just follow the instructions below.This is how it works: The Pay it Forward Exchange is based off of the concept from the movie "Pay it Forward". I will send a hand made gift to the first three people who comment on this post on my blog requesting to join the PIF Exchange. All the gifts will be made and sent out some time within this year. How exciting to not know when your surprise package will arrive! What you need to do in return, is pay it forward by making the same promise on your own blog. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS PROMISE TO POST THIS SAME 'PAY IT FORWARD' MESSAGE ON YOUR BLOG, WHICH MUST BE ACTIVE IN ORDER TO PLAY. YOU WILL PAY IT FORWARD TO 3 PEOPLE WHO COMMENT ON YOUR BLOG. I'd love for you to join me. Will you? Other comments are welcome but only the first three will be my Pay it Forward recipients. Come and join me, who doesn't love a gift or giving gifts???

Bandit

2009-01-27T20:54:00.002-07:00

We have a raccoon family that likes to visit us. There are three of them and the "leader" is the biggest raccoon I have ever seen in my life. He is Gigantic! My husband has affectionately named him Bandit. He likes to come and eat out of our garbage cans that are next to the door. I can hear him at night rummaging through it trying to get to the good stuff. He will sit there and stare at you if you watch him through the window. We started leaving stale bread or apples out for him. If we do that, he leaves the trash can alone. The smaller two do not come as often. I think they are afraid of humans. Bandit however seems quite comfortable. Almost like he owns the place. I noticed his tacks all over the snow this morning. I'm glad he came by. It is fun to have him as a neighbor. I just want him to quit tearing up the trash can.

Returning to school

2009-01-22T18:29:00.000-07:00

It all started this past Fall. I have seen the signs and knew what was coming. I needed some change in my life. A way to make myself a better person. So I did it. I took a huge leap of faith and stepped off the ledge. I submitted my application to attend the college of my choice in the Spring. There was no turning back now. I had already applied for financial aid and any day now I knew that the letter bearing the good or bad news would arrive. the suspense was tremendous! I have waited six years for this moment! Then it came and sure enough! The money was made available and I was going to school! I registered for classes and waited anxiously for the first day of class to arrive. Time seemed to slow down but every day brought me closer. Then it arrived! January 20! I had carefully packed my backpack the night before with pens, folders and matching notebooks. One color for each class. I double checked my schedule to make sure I knew what time I needed to be there. 10:00 was the start time of my first class. I arrived at the school at 9:00. I needed to make sure I had plenty of time to find my classes as I only had 10 minutes between them. I walked around, found where each classroom was, talked with the Financial Aid office and realized I still had half an hour to wait. So feeling like I was back in High School, I waited. Wondering. Would I make any friends? Will I be one of the oldest in my classes? Will the information given make sense? Time passed again and before I knew it, Class had started. I made it!

Sunshine

2009-01-19T14:58:00.001-07:00

I love sunshine. In fact, there are days I crave it. I love to open the curtains and have the soft light flow into my house. I find that it makes the whole room lighter. I wish at times that I were a cat. Then I could curl up in the spot on the floor that the sun hits and sleep feeling the warmth. Sunshine has healing power for me. If I am in a bad mood or life has hit me hard, I just go outside and soak up rays and before I know it, I am feeling better and life is good again. I can't wait for Spring when the sun feels warm and soft again instead of the cold hard rays of Winter. Hurry Spring!